Saturday, August 29, 2009

Now LSU Fans Can Do More Than Love Les Miles—They Can Smell Like Him Too!

Article by Larry Burton
Senior College Football Writer and Featured Columnist

Their ad begins, "A signature scent for the LSU man—let yourself unwind and enjoy the lush serenity of the Louisiana State University campus."

Think I'm making it up? You can see it here.

Somehow, I think this company has it all wrong. They try to convince me that LSU smells like Frozen Basil, Calabrian Bergamot, Armoise, and Indonesian Vetiver, whatever that is.

Not only do those smells have nothing to do with LSU, but 99 percent of LSU's fanbase has never heard of them, smelled them, or could even spell them (no insult intended; I'm a writer, and I fall into that group as well).

As a result, I wrote the company today and told them that in order to capture the essence of LSU, they had to capture the essence of Les Miles.

Wafting scents of baseball cap headband sweat mix with undertones of corn dog. Add in a little Cajun seasoning, and you have Les in a bottle.

Then, with just a splash or two, you can really smell like a real LSU man.

To complete the effect, however, these scents must be mixed with an ether base to cause that same lightheaded, crazy effect that is Les Miles.

Now you can smell and act just like the real man of LSU.

Now, I wonder what the ladies' fragrance is like: cherry lip gloss scent, bourbon, and crab boil?

With my advice and their slick marketing, it's just a matter of time until EVERY college has its signature scent.

Tennessee has theirs out already. In honor of not just Lane Kiffin, but also the crowds in the stands squeezing into the smallest seats in the SEC, the scents are baby powder (for Kiffin), B.O. (from the crowded stands), and Jack Daniels.

At only $60 for a whopping 3.4 ounces, there's hardly a better deal out there to part you from your hard-earned dollars.

Act today. I'm sure supplies are limited.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Two Tickets to Paradise: College Football's 2009 Bowl Projections

Article by BabyTate
Senior College Football Writer and Featured Columnist

Of all the subjects in college football, the most interesting must be the bowl games at the end of the regular season.

The reasons are many, but most importantly, it settles the National Championship.

Others may feel a trip to an exotic location to cheer on one's team is a thrill without equal in sports.

The five great bowls of the pre-World War II era are still with us. The Rose, Sugar, Cotton, Sun, and Orange have supplied so many memories, kept alive by the passing down of lore through generations.

The Cold War era gave us three terrific bowls with the coming of the Gator in 1946, the Tangerine in 1947, and the Liberty in 1959.

This trio continues to provide thrills and suspense decades later. The Tangerine changed its name after 1982, eventually becoming the Capital One Bowl.

The Liberty left Philadelphia after 1963, ultimately settling in Memphis after a one-year hiatus in Atlantic City.

Over the years, some old names have been resurrected, such as the Poinsettia, the Peach, and the Alamo. The current bowls with those names bear little resemblance to the predecessors.

The arrival of the Fiesta Bowl in 1971 and the BCS Championship Game in 2007 are testimony to the ability of bowl committees to create a successful product of great interest if the need exists.

Big money is the central figure in the bowl games of this time. The bigger the payout, the better the bowl. Or is it?

With some conferences sharing equally in postseason payouts, the subject of location becomes a more important issue. Will the fans follow the team to faraway locations?

Does the fanbase “travel well?” This actually means, will the fans follow the team and spend money in the local economy?

Another matter that will arise this season is, who is going to put their name down in the history book as the first teams to play in the new Cotton Bowl in its nearly unbelievable setting of Jerry Jones' stadium?

With this incredible location and unequaled atmosphere, there can be little doubt the Cotton Bowl will shortly return to its rightful place at the pinnacle of the postseason.

Submitted for your approval and enjoyment, a summertime look at the million-dollar payout bowls for the 2009 season.

1. BCS Title Game: Texas vs. Florida

2. Rose Bowl: Ohio State vs. California

3. Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma vs. Southern California

4. Sugar Bowl: LSU vs. Boise State

5. Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs. Pittsburgh

6. Cotton Bowl: Alabama vs. Nebraska

7. Capital One (Citrus) Bowl: Georgia vs. Penn State

8. Outback (Hall of Fame) Bowl: Ole Miss vs. Illinois

9. Gator Bowl: Ga Tech vs. West Virginia

10. Chick-fil-A (Peach) Bowl: Florida State vs. Tennessee

11. Champs Sports (Blockbuster) Bowl: Miami vs. Iowa

12. Alamo Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. Michigan State

13. Holiday Bowl: Oregon vs. Kansas

14. Sun Bowl: Notre Dame vs. Arizona

15. Liberty Bowl: Southern Miss vs. Arkansas

16. Music City Bowl: Vanderbilt vs. N.C. State

17. Insight (Copper) Bowl: Arizona State vs. Wisconsin

18. Independence Bowl: Auburn vs. Texas Tech

19. Las Vegas (California Raisin) Bowl: Texas Christian vs. Oregon State

20. St. Petersburg Bowl: South Florida vs. Tulsa

21. EagleBank Bowl: Maryland vs. East Carolina (Army will not qualify)

22. Meineke Bowl: Clemson vs. Rutgers

So there we have it, a breakdown of the 22 bowls with a million dollars or more as the payout.

Now realistically, who would give up all of this for a playoff that determines a champion?

Not the colleges raking in the “do-re-mi” year after year while going 6-6 on the season.

You can bank on that.

View the original article on B/R by clicking here.

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