Article by Larry Burton
Senior College Football Writer and Featured Columnist
Their ad begins, "A signature scent for the LSU man—let yourself unwind and enjoy the lush serenity of the Louisiana State University campus."
Think I'm making it up? You can see it here.
Somehow, I think this company has it all wrong. They try to convince me that LSU smells like Frozen Basil, Calabrian Bergamot, Armoise, and Indonesian Vetiver, whatever that is.
Not only do those smells have nothing to do with LSU, but 99 percent of LSU's fanbase has never heard of them, smelled them, or could even spell them (no insult intended; I'm a writer, and I fall into that group as well).
As a result, I wrote the company today and told them that in order to capture the essence of LSU, they had to capture the essence of Les Miles.
Wafting scents of baseball cap headband sweat mix with undertones of corn dog. Add in a little Cajun seasoning, and you have Les in a bottle.
Then, with just a splash or two, you can really smell like a real LSU man.
To complete the effect, however, these scents must be mixed with an ether base to cause that same lightheaded, crazy effect that is Les Miles.
Now you can smell and act just like the real man of LSU.
Now, I wonder what the ladies' fragrance is like: cherry lip gloss scent, bourbon, and crab boil?
With my advice and their slick marketing, it's just a matter of time until EVERY college has its signature scent.
Tennessee has theirs out already. In honor of not just Lane Kiffin, but also the crowds in the stands squeezing into the smallest seats in the SEC, the scents are baby powder (for Kiffin), B.O. (from the crowded stands), and Jack Daniels.
At only $60 for a whopping 3.4 ounces, there's hardly a better deal out there to part you from your hard-earned dollars.
Act today. I'm sure supplies are limited.